Our Value

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked. “Who would like this $20 bill?”
Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you – but first, let me do this.”
He proceeded to crumple the 20 dollar note up. He then asked. “Who still wants it?” Still the hands were up in the air.

Attitude is Everything

I found this quote about attitude online and it really spoke to me.  I recently have had some dealings with some people who say they want to make healthy changes in their life.  When they are given solutions or have solutions it usually ends in "ya but", "I know, but". I remember saying that to people years ago and now I see I didn’t want the solution bad enough.  It's so defeating to have an excuse to stay the same, stay in the drama, stay in the sick thinking, the rescuing, the enabling, the addictions.  We can all come up with an excuse in order to do what is easy. 
Finally, I came to realized that I could just move forward and learn to remove the "but" and replace it with a "yes!"  My whole attitude and outlook changed.  I no longer felt defeated by outside events, other people, and anything else beyond my control. I was living in the solution and I still try to do that today. 

12 Things Happy People Do Differently by Stephen Covey

I found this list of 12 Things Happy People Do Differently.  It was written by Stephen Covey who is the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  He has a lot of very inspiring ideas packed into this list.  It touches on a lot of the spiritual principles of the 12 steps which I try to live out each day including: gratitude, kindness, commitment, forgiveness, and brotherly love.  It's another reminder for me to do my best each day and leave the rest for my Higher Power.  Enjoy! Bonnie J

Feeling our Feelings

In recovery we are told to try not to stuff our feelings but try to acknowledge and release them.  Prior to recovery was unaware I had been either stuff my feelings or “tuning out” because I was overwhelmed by them.  We hear the solution “be with your feelings” and to “feel your feelings” and that is what this post explores.  I’ve learned a few strategies from those who came before me.  It is no longer just being with my feelings but about being able to understand, acknowledge, and release those feelings.

Are you Immature or Mature?

This post contains information I received when I entered a residential program, just not sure which one.  I think most people in recovery will find that this applies to them when they come in and that through 12 step work they find themselves representing the Maturity List toward the bottom of the post.  Many recovering people look back on their lives and see how they were ruled by immaturity.  By applying the steps in recovery programs we can begin to “grow up”, even after many years of arrested development. 

Letting Go

Here is yet another post by an unknown author; not for lack of trying but this was something given to me by a friend in a 12 step fellowship…I could not resist posting it.  I should tattoo it on my arm!  I could write ten posts about the subject of letting go and it would not begin to reach the depth the author reached when s/he wrote the untitled article below.  

My Journey with Chronic Pain

So far my posts have been recovery related for the most part.  Recovery is the most important thing in my life because without it, I lose everything I love in my life.  The following post explains the beginning of my journey into living in recovery with chronic pain.

Acceptance

Acceptance is a spiritual principle that I have heard used in many groups I have been to for recovery, PTSD, and Pain.  I have struggled to find acceptance in all of these areas.  I also have experienced the deep serenity from finding acceptance in all of these areas of my life.  I have gratitude that I am able to share with others what I have learned on my journey.  Having that purpose in my life has allowed me to experience full acceptance of my past, leaving behind blame, shame, regret, resentments, and fear.  Acceptance is not condoning events or actions but it is letting them go in order to have peace; there is nothing I can do to change the past.  

Rational and Irrational Thoughts

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.  -The Buddha

In this post I'm going to explore rational and irrational thoughts and beliefs
- how to spot the thought
- how mindfulness can help
- the three core irrational beliefs which the irrational thoughts stem from
- how to spot the language of irrational thought
- the solutions to having rational thoughts

Through thought distortions and the resulting conflict; there is a self-imposed suffering.  Buddha said it best above, we are our thoughts and our thoughts influence how we feel.

At first I thought, I’m a rational person, this doesn’t apply to me.  Then I started to look at the feelings I was having and worked backwards.  Why was I feeling like this? What were my thoughts about the “who, what, where or how?”  When I started going deeper I could see a lot of my unhappiness and conflict was based on irrational thinking…it still can be.

The Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenityto accept the things I cannot change;courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.Living one day at a time;Enjoying one moment at a time;Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;Taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it;Trusting that He will make all things rightif I surrender to His Will;That I may be reasonably happy in this lifeand supremely happy with HimForever in the next.

-Reinhold Niebuhr     

Many 12 step groups use the beginning of this prayer to open a meeting.  It is also the starting point of many important parts of recovery: spiritual contact, practicing the spiritual principles of serenity, acceptance, courage, faith, trust, willingness, wisdom, letting go, asking for help, living by God's will, and examining life through prayer and meditation.  I’m sure there are many more ideas people have about this prayer, please share them in the comments.
Over the next while I want to look at the ideas in the prayer as well as the spiritual principles and how they can be applied to our life.  Please feel free to comment on anything, I’d love to learn from you.