Acceptance

Acceptance is a spiritual principle that I have heard used in many groups I have been to for recovery, PTSD, and Pain.  I have struggled to find acceptance in all of these areas.  I also have experienced the deep serenity from finding acceptance in all of these areas of my life.  I have gratitude that I am able to share with others what I have learned on my journey.  Having that purpose in my life has allowed me to experience full acceptance of my past, leaving behind blame, shame, regret, resentments, and fear.  Acceptance is not condoning events or actions but it is letting them go in order to have peace; there is nothing I can do to change the past.  

The Serenity Prayer says “grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change” and I find it interesting that in the extended version it adds “accepting hardships as a pathway to peace.”  Acceptance is one of those spiritual principles that require a daily practice of rigorous honesty and surrender to accomplish.  I love the AA Big Book quote about acceptance: “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

That quote certainly is a hefty challenge but if my goal is inner peace then I’m willing to do just about anything.  I have found it difficult to accept that I have chronic pain; it is something I feel I need to fight.  The mental challenge for me is to stay in the moment instead of thinking “this will last forever” or “I can’t take it anymore” or my personal go to “it’s not fair”.  While these statements may or may not have truth to them, they are destructive to my serenity.  When I stay in the moment and shift to an attitude of gratitude, I create positivity and acceptance in my thoughts.

Most of the work I have done has been pen to paper or fingers to keypad step work.  Acceptance comes up in pretty much every step.  Step guides for addictions are also used in many other dysfunctional areas of life.  I write about PTSD, Pain, feelings, thoughts, obsession, etc and the more I write, the more insight I find into recovery.  I am able to more easily apply the spiritual principles because I can recognize the problem.  I truly believe that acceptance will bring me peace because my experience has been that my suffering is caused by fighting what is.

Below are a few more quotes about acceptance and I have added a page with the full version of the serenity prayer on the right side panel. Bonnie J

“When you invoke the agent of change called acceptance, you must accept all that you are, all that you've been and all that you will be in the future.” — Debbie Ford

“Acceptance allows evasion and denial to give way to reality and peace. With the care of God, we are granted the power to welcome new people and new ideas into our lives.”  www.gtascna.on.ca, from NoUseNewsMarch2012