Codependency is a tricky thing to spot in ourselves. I was talking with my mom this week and she
said something that has really stuck with me:
“We [codependents] don’t have the outward signs like the addict does –
it’s obvious to them; taking a pill, a drink, gambling, smoking, etc – but with
me, how was I to know until I stumbled into my own recovery by trying to help
my addict?”
I certainly will not be able to
list all the signs and symptoms of codependency in this post but I think the
categories are a good jumping off point.
The main categories: Denial,
Compliance, Low Self-Esteem, Control, and Avoidance. I’ve picked these because they were
outlined this way to me at the Residential Family (Codependency) Program I
attended. These categories also apply to
the addicted person; addicts just have the extra symptom of using. When I talk
about relationships in this post I don’t mean just romantic ones but all types
of relationships. In my case I can have
codependent relationships with my brother, my friend, my parents, co-worker, or
someone I sponsor – that is why I love recovery, I am never recovered, I’m
always within the process.
