Self-Talk

We always attract into our lives whatever we think about most, believe in most strongly, expect on the deepest level, and imagine most vividly. – Shakti Gawain

The way we talk to ourselves will determine how we feel about ourselves, others and the world around us.  There are a lot of pluses to managing our self-talk: decreases anger, increases self-esteem, become more positive, creates inner peace and serenity, and many more.  What we tell ourselves seems to manifest in all areas of our lives.  When we change the self-talk then we begin to change our belief systems and our actions.  We can move in a positive direction in life and even learn to love ourselves.   My first sponsor started me on this journey of positivity with a quote by Wayne Dyer “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

We learn along the journey of life and create for ourselves belief systems about the world, our family, groups of people, etc, and ourselves.  The place I like to start making changes is within me and then it radiates out to the world.   I tend to paint the world with the same brush at times and it all begins with my self-talk:  If I wake up and have a blaring headache then by the time I reach the door I’m disgruntled by my home; I don’t like it.  Then I get in my car and drive to work, the other drivers are so dumb; how did they get a licence and who is behind the city planning; why do I hit every red light?  I get to work and see a pile on my desk; I hate my job there’s too much pressure on me and it’s that ridiculous boss of mine; I do all the work and she takes all the credit.  By the time I get home there is a mess and I start thinking; do everything for this family and they can’t even put away their dishes, so ungrateful.  And so on and so on in the misery I have created by my thoughts.  The same events could happen and if I interrupt with a positive thought or even the awareness of the negativity then I can break the cycle.  This is the beginning of spiritual growth – awareness.  When we couple this awareness with the motivation for action we can begin to grow. 

After we have awareness and are willing to change our thoughts we can now begin to notice.  Just be an observer without judgement of the thoughts.  I started to notice that I seemed to have the same 20 or so thoughts over and over which created a cycle of distress for me.  So, I started to write down my thoughts and challenged them; is this true, is it helpful, do I need this thought?  The thoughts that were reminders to pick up this and go here and there were neutral so I made a list for myself and then every time the thought came up I would turn it over. 

Then there were more negative thoughts about myself; those were harmful and affected all areas of my life.  As silly as it seemed I needed affirmations – I posted them all over the place – on my phone, mirrors, doors, at my desk at work, my screensaver, etc.  I have posted a list of affirmations on the left side under Poems, Art and Other Ideas http://livingthesteps.blogspot.ca/p/theseaffirmations-by-posting-them.html and it will run as a post tomorrow.  Pick the ones you wish were true and say them to yourself.  When you hear the negative self-talk go ahead and challenge it with your affirmations.  Over time I found a shift in the way I saw the world, my family and especially myself.  I saw the affirmations as true; I treated myself better, held my head higher, and passed on my new found gift to others. 

This is of course an ongoing process. I have years of programming my brain one way so it will be a process to change.  The process is what I love about life.  We rarely see change with our inner selves that are immediate.  It seems that it takes a lot of hard work and determination to get to a place of peace and serenity.  I started with me but then affected everyone I came in contact with including my family, friends, co-workers, etc.  I am not perfect, far from it, but I hope I am creating a legacy of more positivity and love than anything else.  Say something nice to yourself today. Bonnie J